I recently returned from a five and a half week trip to India and Singapore.
It was truly a trip of a lifetime!
Why?
It was the first time that I was showing up as an adult in the country that holds the stories of my heritage without an agenda.
I wasn't there to attend a family member's engagement or wedding nor was I there to help a global tech giant create a stronger and more efficient recruiting team.
Truth be told, I primarily went on the trip because I knew I would regret not going since my sister, Mom, and Dad had already booked their tickets. They are the most important people in the world to me and as my parents get older, it gets more difficult to imagine having days where I'm not creating memories with them.
It's funny how things change over twenty-five years - there was a time I couldn't wait to live a 3.5-4 hour car ride away from my parents. That was far enough for freedom but still close enough if we ever needed each other. But, I digress...
The reason Singapore was included on the agenda was that I was too busy with life to book tickets directly to India at a reasonable price or with frequent flier miles.
The scrappiness I used in 2015 to book a last-minute flight to APAC for an employer came in handy again. I could use my frequent flier miles to book a round trip ticket to Singapore and then another round-trip ticket from Singapore to India. This time, instead of meeting with a temporary new boss, I could meet one of my best friends from college's family of four and visit their highly acclaimed restaurants and bars.
The entire trip was magical - from scoring last-minute tickets to see U2 with a cousin, hearing Niladri Kumar and Zakir Husain perform with friends that are family (one of those friendships formed from my 2015 trip) to seeing my grandmother with my sister and Mom (3 generations together!), and seeing my Dad catch-up with childhood friends in the apartment building he grew up in (each floor only had 3 bathrooms to share in the hallway - no bathrooms in your home!), and watching sunrises in South India with my parents (thanks to another friend who is like family from my 2015 trip) to other jaunts with my cousins and their families either locally in Mumbai or on a trip to beautiful Rajasthan.
The Singapore highlights are numerous - my optimistic self accepted a lunch meeting via a dating app, philosophical discussions with a girlfriend about relationships, business, and stages of life over high tea, an intimate omakase pizza experience, and quality time with former colleagues and having them meet my college buddy. The highlight was definitely hearing the pure joy and excitement of my friends' son in my hotel's rooftop pool - kids are the best!!!
In between the fun, I worked but not in my typical “mostly being proactive” way. Instead, I was mostly responding to clients and to opportunities that hit my inbox. Something magical happened by being more responsive instead of being hyper-focused on being proactive. I was able to enjoy life and be present in the relationships that matter so much to me.
While on this trip, I received the opportunity to hire an SVP of People and Culture (for a kick-ass female President of a research company here in NYC - yes, please connect me with the best HR leaders you know ASAP!), to speak before ~40 HR leaders on change management and succession planning (happening this Friday!), and on Monday I get to visit one of my professional hero's offices where I will meet people who share some common values that are really important to me. Oh, also my former manager from my sales days hooked me up with an opportunity to speak on a panel at one of NYC's business schools on the Future of Work! Finally, a college buddy who worked with me at the Undergraduate Dean's office and whom I partnered with on a plethora of group projects reached out while I was in India and we're now talking about partnering on a tech idea in the HR space.
It's hard to believe all of the opportunities above came during my state of being responsive. Yes, it's true that none of these opportunities would have likely appeared without me previously being proactive. However, there was no way I could have connected those proactive moments to what's now transpired - I was simply being me!
The trip taught me that I didn't have to be the overachieving, daughter of immigrants, type-A personality to find joy and happiness. Instead, I could return back to who I probably was before being molded by multiple variables in life - a happy gal who is curious and loves to explore (where some of my proactive tendencies come from) while being around people (where some of my responsive tendencies come from).
I share all of the above with the hope that you are inspired to find balance wherever you are right now and to simply be YOU.
With lots of love,
Swati :)